Safe Sound: A Companion Modality
Many parents come to me eager to use the Safe and Sound Protocol with their child. Their child may be struggling in school, or have high anxiety that is disrupting their lives. They may be facing an autism diagnoses or have limited verbal range by which to express themselves.
I have adults reach out to me who have heard about the Safe and Sound—many of whom have been told it is a 5-day listening therapy and imagine that, on the other side of those five days, they may finally find some freedom-from pain or nightmares, or symptoms they’ve long been suffering.
If you’ve been struggling for a long time or exhausted trying to find solutions, naturally the thought of a straightforward modality that can produce results in a short amount of time can be appealing.
But, often, folks are misled by the idea that the Safe and Sound Protocol is a quick-fix. Or that something life-changing will happen after 5 days. And while I have seen some life-changing shifts with this modality, I prefer to prepare and educate people about how best to use it to maximize gains, minimize unwanted side effects, and integrate it as part of a healing strategy.
Don’t get me wrong. The Safe and Sound Protocol is a wonderful modality, with so much potential and so many uses. It wouldn’t be at the foundation of my work if it weren’t.
But so one of the ways to have a really positive experience is first adjusting expectations and understanding the scope of the Safe and Sound. The second (and there are others, but I want to keep this simple) is understanding some key components to a successful Safe and Sound experience—not just while listening but to take with you on your journey to healing.
Adjusting expectations: The Safe and Sound Protocol is not intended to be a stand-alone therapy, even though many attempt to use it this way. What that means is that the issues one may be trying to address could be the result of years of trauma, environmental factors, a combination of things, and are best addressed through several modalities.
For example, someone may have a child struggling with autism-related issues. There may be a history of early developmental trauma, like a rushed delivery, C-section, or a necessary medical intervention or visit to NICU after birth. Maybe the child has an undetected sensitivity to gluten or casein, as is common with autism. Or they are stressed at home or at school.
Maybe the parent is holding a lot of unresolved trauma. Is stressed, perhaps single, has financial worries, and health issues of their own.
In other cases, an adult with a complex trauma history and chronic health issues, may have heard about the Safe and Sound Protocol, and is looking for something to bring about change. But isn’t in regular therapy or doing other modalities.
Safe and Sound may be used in all of these scenarios—with the child with autism, the parent of that child, the adult with trauma and chronic health struggles. But putting all of our proverbial eggs in one basket, isn’t going to work here.
The Safe and Sound Protocol—especially after only one use—will not unravel years of complex trauma, or heal early developmental wounding, or make the stressed out parent calm and grounded.
What it can do is begin to open the possibility for those things to start happening—with the support of other providers and other modalities—like OT, cranial sacral therapy, somatic experiencing, sensory integration work, and so on. Then those modalities can be more effective, have more “room” to integrate, and work as they are intended.
In this way, the Safe and Sound Protocol becomes the key to unlocking the door where a lot of the charge may be stored. But we need a few other tools, depending on the individual, to be able to work with that charge.
This is what is meant by the Safe and Sound not being a standalone modality.
Safe Before Sound: I go into more detail about this idea here. But just to mention it —an aspect of this modality that often gets very overlooked is the container, and the resources, that are available for healing.
Stephen Porges, who has developed the Safe and Sound Protocol, has been known for saying “Safe Before Sound” -
And I can’t emphasize this enough with my clients. To have the “Safe” piece in place—even before any listening—can be crucial to a successful Safe and Sound experience.
So what does that look like?
For one, it looks like being in the presence of an adult, friend, caregiver we feel safe with. Having nervous-system to nervous-system support can be a huge resource that can help the person listening move through activation.
In addition, this support can help reinforce what it is we are trying to gain through the Safe and Sound Protocol intervention—which is strengthening the social engagement part of our nervous system.
In addition to a safe human, pets are helpful too. As are other resources like activities that feel calming. sensory input like skin brushing or foot massage, and creating a safe “container” that feels like it can hold the individual listening.
In all, when done with a well-attuned practitioner—even remotely, and with the clarity about what one can expect, along with additional supportive modalities, a safe facilitator and access to resources, the Safe and Sound Protocol can be an amazing tool on your healing journey.
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